Saturday morning...a time for quiet, for coffee that can be consumed slowly while enjoying every drop, for reflection, and for gearing up for the day. I'd like to say that every day begins like this, because it SHOULD, but it doesn't. Most days begin with a rush to get ready, trying to gulp down enough coffee to jumpstart my system as I run out the door. In my reflection time this morning (which includes time on Facebook catching up with everyone), I read a plea from a friend that got my brain revved up on overdrive about how we, as women, have been trained by society to think and behave.
Basically, we have been raised to believe the old adage that "idle hands are of the devil" and that we are not allowed time to ourselves. For many women, this is what a typical day looks like (realizing that many of us don't do ALL of this, but we do a lot of it): get up, perhaps throw in a load of laundry or clean some part of the house, wake up child(ren) and get them ready for school, fix breakfasts and lunches, pay bills, take child(ren) to school, go to work, spend lunch time working out or running errands, leave work, work out or run errands, buy groceries, pick child(ren) up from school or activities, fix dinner, help with homework, take child(ren) to activities, supervise bathtime, read books with child(ren), put child(ren) back to bed, take care of sick child(ren), clean house, sign permission slips and fill out other papers for child(ren), plan weekend activities, plan summer activities, do more laundry, and so on. Now, to be fair, many have husbands/significant others who take charge of some of this (and some of us are lucky enough to have a husband who takes charge of a LOT of it). The difference is that when something doesn't get done, men don't have the same feelings of guilt and remorse that women do. Women tend to take care of everything and everyone else while neglecting ourselves and our need to have quiet, alone time to do NOTHING. Yes, I said NOTHING. Think about it. When was the last time you allowed yourself to send the child(ren) to another room, ignore the chores that were calling your name, pour yourself a cup of coffee/tea/wine/whatever and just BE? We, as women, don't do that very well because we feel guilty if we do.
Here is my contention. It is our duty to do this and to tell our child(ren) that this is what we're doing. They need to know that when they grow up, it's OK to have alone time to do something they enjoy or to simply do nothing, and that this will make them better, more productive people. We need a balance of alone time, play time, and work time.
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