April 5, 2013
This has been a week of ups and downs - a week that has exhausted me to the point that all I seem to be able to do in the evenings is sit in front of my computer and the tv and eat (preferably as much chocolate as I can get my hands on). School gets more and more stressful as we move toward FCAT testing. There are so many things running through my head that there are times during the day when I can't utter a coherent sentence. I keep asking myself if there's more information I can stuff inside their heads, more test-taking strategies I can give them, more ways of choosing the right answer, more ways of destressing before they take this high-stakes test, and so on and so on and so on. And then the next thought I have is, "My God, these are children who need more from my class than just Math knowledge and test-taking strategies!!". Where is the time for me to get to know them as people? to know what they enjoy doing and what makes them laugh and what makes them sad or afraid? Where is the time to just TALK to them? Don't get me wrong, I DO some of this, as time permits.
I know a little bit about some of my kids - sports they play and/or enjoy watching, which of my kids are 4Hers, and a few other little tidbits here and there, but not nearly enough. And, honestly, I'm not sure how many of them know that I truly care about them in ways other than how much math they learn. Today, I made a point of telling (as a group) how very proud of them I am, and how much I have seen them change since August. I also had a conversation (short, but I hope helpful) with one of my girls who is so stressed that she has made herself sick. I plan to be more deliberate in my questions and showing my interest in them as people for the rest of this year. My hope is that it will make a difference in their lives, however small, and that it will help them to bloom into the beautiful butterflies God intends them to be.